Should I drop off my toddler at the mall?

I’m going to open a giant can of worms, and I believe that we can all learn from these worms.

As controversial as the subject is, I will do my best to remain detached from any bias, and work hard to play God’s advocate.

Also, for those of you who choose to comment, please, do not respond offensively or judgmentally. For all of our opinions of the sins of others, others hold opinions toward our sins, which are just as offensive to God. So, let’s all realize that no one is perfect and that God’s Word is a tool to be used as a means of living in a right relationship with one another.

The subject of modesty comes up so often that it is very difficult to ignore the fact that we need clarity.

To begin, let’s realize that modesty for men and women is often two very different things, because, for the majority of men and women, temptation is brought on by two different provocations. The majority of men are very visual, which means that they can actually have a sexual encounter using only their eyes. The majority of women are relational, which means that they can actually develop deep, emotional connections using only their tools of non-physical communication.

For example, when a man sees his wife take off her clothes, for him, sex has begun. For most women, the sexual encounter is usually a result of how her husband communicates with her during the day.

In other words, men, don’t try lighting candles, sprawling out on the bed, and calling “Yoo-hoo, Honey, I’m in the bedroom,” especially if you haven’t taken out the trash for the last two weeks (or you aren’t a newly-wed who has actually waited until marriage to have sex).

So what does this all mean? It means that men can steal sexual encounters all day long from women who believe that men should be able to control their selves and not look when their clothes are a bit revealing. And it means that women can steal emotionally fulfilling encounters from men who are overly nice in the office, at the party, or during the carpool to work.

So, here’s the point:

For men who say, “I should be able to be as caring as I want and women should have enough self-control to avoid temptations” And for women who say, “I should be able to wear whatever I want and men should have enough self-control to avoid temptations,” my challenge is this:

Would I offer the same defense with my money and children?

Would I leave my money in the front yard and say, “I should be able to leave my money anywhere I choose, and people should have enough self-control to leave it alone.”

Or, would I leave my two-year-old daughter alone at the mall and say, “I should be able to leave my daughter anywhere I choose, and people should have enough self-control to leave her alone.”


What if God is interested in my willingness and determination to remove any temptations that I am able to invoke on others?

What if leaving my money in the yard or my toddler alone in a public place is no less irresponsible than neglecting to protect my brothers and sisters from temptations of lust and adulterous fantasies?

What if I really am my brother's keeper?

I pray that we are pleasing God in our own lives and in our desires and abilities to do whatever we can to protect others.

Forever learning,
Johnny

Mine to give or another's to deliver?

The subject of saving ourselves for marriage has been on my mind lately, probably because my sons are growing up so fast.

There are two conflicting views about premarital sex—protection or abstinence. But, what if neither was the complete answer to the dilemma?

What if intimacy was like holding someone else’s money?

I mean, Jesus tells men to be careful not to even look at a woman lustfully. Contextually speaking, He said that because he was placing a hedge around the instruction from God to avoid adultery.

But what if God didn’t give my intimacy to me? What if God gave me intimacy to hold…intimacy that actually belongs to another person? What if saying, “I’m saving myself for the person I marry” is actually not true? What if what I’m saving is not mine at all?

Think about it. Is it possible that God gave intimacy to Jonathan Paul Gainey to keep on the day I was conceived until the day I meet the person that I am to deliver it to, once and for all, and on our wedding night I gave Staci the affection that belonged to her all along?

Could it be that when I kissed other girls as a teenager that I was actually giving away something that wasn’t mine to give and taking from another that which wasn’t hers to give? There are a lot of people who don't really consider kissing that much of a sensual act, but what about all of the more intimate things that young people do when their passions get away from them and they are alone?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if young children were no longer considering their sexual desires as personal belongings to be exchanged with whomever he or she wanted, when it "feels right?"

Wouldn’t it be beautiful, if our sensuality and sexual pleasures were held and guarded as priceless objects, belonging to someone else, who would someday come to receive his or her possessions?

What if wedding nights were filled with two people who have been carrying incredibly valuable, fragile packages for years, waiting to be delivered to the owner on that very day when the two are joined as one?''

And what if, for those who do not marry, the passions and desires of a person were symbolically, yet literally preserved as the possessions of God himself?

Forever learning,
Johnny

"Be the Church Going"

This is a response to a good friend's blog:

The Salvation Army may be the best equipped and prepared Christian mission, among God's people, to withstand the unstoppable trends that are impacting the Christian world.

As the needs and expectations of ministry change, including less dependence on institutional religion and professional pastors, The Salvation Army will lead the way in providing a real “church” experience and opportunity.

Although we do not prefer to separate our ministry in terms of “church” and “social services organization,” the fact remains that they are often beneficial to two separate groups of people. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

As studies and research indicate from highly trusted and respected organizations like “The Barna Group,” as to the way people are worshiping and serving as Christians, as well as what attracts people to the Church today, we are learning a lot.

Both believers and non-believers are stating that opportunity for hands-on, missional, meaningful, and genuine opportunities to help others is of great importance. This makes The Salvation Army stand out among other Christian movements, because of the many avenues of service through which new generations will be able to reach others.

Despite the criticism of some concerning The Army's lack of emphasis on church, the small size of the majority of our congregations and the strong emphasis on raising funds to offer social services to our communities may be exactly how God is moving in this and coming generations.

Christians who are no longer part of an active congregation and non-believers who are asked what they would look for, should they choose to go to a church, are responding with some very interesting answers.

The majority say:
1. They want to be a part of a small group of people and a congregation of no more than 30-40 people.

2. They are not interested in perfection in worship services. They are looking for something “real.”

3. They do not want to be a part of an institutional church with a professional pastor. They want to be a part of a Christian mission whereby people are “doing” the will of God as they serve each other and others, together.

4. They are not interested in “going to the church.” They want to “be the church going.”

5. They don’t want to “join” a church. They want to be actively ministering and being ministered to in the world of which they are a part, rather than in programs and church services. This will pose a major problem to those who insist on church membership or soldiership.

We can shun these responses and choose to treat them as if they are ridiculous requests, or we can focus on the realization that The Salvation Army has been prepared in advance for the new thing that God is doing.

George Barna is predicting that more and more small churches will be disappearing and that “professional” pastors will be forced back into secular work places. Salvation Army Officers are well suited for this change in the culture of the church, because of the demand on Christian social service organizations. In other words, the “pastors” of The Salvation Army will already have a “vocation,” which has long been a part of their ministry, while other churches may be forced to close down their “buildings” and send their pastor away to look for employment.

I believe that The Salvation Army is one of God’s anointed missions for “being the church going” for this and upcoming generations.

Servants, be wise!

Okay, I’m back.

Wow! It’s been a long time.

I want to share a quick insight:

There are so many of us who offer help to others. And those who come for help are people of many different backgrounds and experiences. Yet, there are those that have no intention of really helping themselves and can become nasty and even dangerous when the help stops coming.

Still, there are Christians out there who not only give these people lots of help, but actually believe that they can change these people with their help and even build them into leaders of the Kingdom.

Allow me to share an ancient story that will help us to see the reality of this situation.

Dr. Heron’s Fee
“Once a wolf had a bone lodged in his throat. He promised a heron that he would give a suitable fee if the latter would let his neck down inside and draw out the bone, thus providing a remedy for his suffering. The heron drew out the bone and immediately demanded his pay. The wolf grinned at him, baring his sharp teeth, and said: ‘It’s enough pay for your medical services to have taken your neck out of a wolf’s mouth safe and sound.’

You’ll get no good in return for giving aid to scoundrels, and you’ll do well not to suffer some injury yourself in the process.”

--Brad H. Young, The Parables: Jewish Traditions and Christian Interpretation

It’s good to remember that many people whom we help are actually, truthfully, and literally dangerous people. We are wise to offer help and back away at times.

Don’t feel guilty when you get that feeling that you are not safe as you offer help to someone. The fact is, even Jesus escaped at times to prevent being stoned (John 8:59).

We are to be wise as we help others.

Forever learning,
Johnny