Should I drop off my toddler at the mall?

I’m going to open a giant can of worms, and I believe that we can all learn from these worms.

As controversial as the subject is, I will do my best to remain detached from any bias, and work hard to play God’s advocate.

Also, for those of you who choose to comment, please, do not respond offensively or judgmentally. For all of our opinions of the sins of others, others hold opinions toward our sins, which are just as offensive to God. So, let’s all realize that no one is perfect and that God’s Word is a tool to be used as a means of living in a right relationship with one another.

The subject of modesty comes up so often that it is very difficult to ignore the fact that we need clarity.

To begin, let’s realize that modesty for men and women is often two very different things, because, for the majority of men and women, temptation is brought on by two different provocations. The majority of men are very visual, which means that they can actually have a sexual encounter using only their eyes. The majority of women are relational, which means that they can actually develop deep, emotional connections using only their tools of non-physical communication.

For example, when a man sees his wife take off her clothes, for him, sex has begun. For most women, the sexual encounter is usually a result of how her husband communicates with her during the day.

In other words, men, don’t try lighting candles, sprawling out on the bed, and calling “Yoo-hoo, Honey, I’m in the bedroom,” especially if you haven’t taken out the trash for the last two weeks (or you aren’t a newly-wed who has actually waited until marriage to have sex).

So what does this all mean? It means that men can steal sexual encounters all day long from women who believe that men should be able to control their selves and not look when their clothes are a bit revealing. And it means that women can steal emotionally fulfilling encounters from men who are overly nice in the office, at the party, or during the carpool to work.

So, here’s the point:

For men who say, “I should be able to be as caring as I want and women should have enough self-control to avoid temptations” And for women who say, “I should be able to wear whatever I want and men should have enough self-control to avoid temptations,” my challenge is this:

Would I offer the same defense with my money and children?

Would I leave my money in the front yard and say, “I should be able to leave my money anywhere I choose, and people should have enough self-control to leave it alone.”

Or, would I leave my two-year-old daughter alone at the mall and say, “I should be able to leave my daughter anywhere I choose, and people should have enough self-control to leave her alone.”


What if God is interested in my willingness and determination to remove any temptations that I am able to invoke on others?

What if leaving my money in the yard or my toddler alone in a public place is no less irresponsible than neglecting to protect my brothers and sisters from temptations of lust and adulterous fantasies?

What if I really am my brother's keeper?

I pray that we are pleasing God in our own lives and in our desires and abilities to do whatever we can to protect others.

Forever learning,
Johnny